I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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