She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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