I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
