if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
and you fell through a lawn chair
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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