I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
