Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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