I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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