which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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