Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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