Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
