I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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