were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
