don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
