That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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