U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
