Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
