kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
