they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
