just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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