All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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