reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize