Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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