I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh god it's open bar.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
