i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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