i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
