I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
