so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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