its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
