id be glad to
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
