Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
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I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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