the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
