So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize