Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
