toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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