FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
