OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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