I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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