I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
