Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
