Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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