At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
