dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize