you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
pop tarts are not kleenex
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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