We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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