We're like a lot better than the average bears
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
