I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize