Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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