dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
