I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
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We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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