i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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