$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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