y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
