And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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