never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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