I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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