Soap is not a condiment
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
