My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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