he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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