Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
