i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
