he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
