I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
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Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
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I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
there is puke in my bra ... again
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