Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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